Difficult People

 

I am sure we all have encountered difficult people. They can try your soul and your nerves. They can make life so challenging at times. We ask ourselves why? Why me? I know I have had my share of difficult people. They will not play fair or be reasonable. Sometimes you wish you do not have to deal with them. Why, why, why??? Recently, I have been learning that when dealing with difficult people we should look at ourselves. Our behavior.

How are we reacting toward that person? Are we returning an eye for an eye? Are we giving them the same attitude that they are giving to us? Do you try to get back at them? Do we “let” things happen knowing that they will go wrong for that person. Does this attitude reflect Christ? Probably not. I had to catch myself sometimes from saying the wrong thing.

When someone treats us wrong, we have to remember that God is our advocate. “ Don’t say “ I will get even for this wrong.” Wait for the Lord to handle the matter. (Proverbs 20:22 ) We are not to return evil for evil. “See that no one pays back evil for evil, but always try to do good to each other and to all people” (I Thessalonians 5:15)

Interacting with people takes discernment. My grandmother uses to say “there are all kinds of people in the world.” And yes there are, but with that comes different personalities, attitudes, backgrounds, cultures, etc. How do we handle all of it?

The best place to start is with ourselves. The way someone acts toward you, you necessarily cannot control, but you can control how you react to them. When someone shouts at you, do you shout back? If someone “curses you out” do you do the same? “A gentle answer deflects anger, but harsh words make tempers flare” (Proverbs 15:1) Is your speech calm and gentle? Are you speaking in such a way that you are reflecting a godly witness? And let’s not forget body language! No matter how or what you say body language can be a tale sign of how you really feel.

With all that in mind, how can we deal with difficult people? I think we should definitely pray for discernment and wisdom. Discernment is having good judgment and understanding. Wisdom is knowing the difference between right and wrong when it is not always clear. Proverbs 16 gives us what it is to be a wise person. “The wise are known for their understanding, and pleasant words are persuasive”(v.21)  “From a wise mind comes wise speech; the words of the wise are persuasive” (v.23). I know that I am far from being wise and having discernment is a challenge, yet it needs to be an effort on our part to gain these character traits. My actions are what I can control, but only through the grace of God, I can have discernment and wisdom when I interact with a difficult person.

Let’s purpose to work on our reactions to difficult people. Let it be our prayer that God will help us to respond in a way that shows love. That our answer will be “gentle.”

If you struggle with interacting with difficult people, how will you purpose to act in a Christlike manner? How are you going to change your reaction?